When you want to make an avoidant miss you and get them back, you need to understand how they think. This is the most obvious reason. This can present itself within a relationship during many monumental moments but it can do so even after a split. Theyre the charming individual who has plenty of surface-level friends but struggles to form deeper connections. Now, such behavior is often perplexing to those on the receiving end. CANADA. Self-aware DA here. (And How Much Space). Contrary to common belief that when someone reacts with anger; it implies that they still have feelings or are emotionally invested. If youre reading this and have been confused and puzzled as to why your avoidant ex reacts with anger or is cold when you reach out; now you know why. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. For more information, please see our Earnings Disclosure. He texted back within minutes. A lot of times people misunderstand an avoidant attachment style and theyll take them leaving or suddenly dropping off of a conversation as them saying I dont love you or I dont care about you or you need to move on when the truth is actually a little bit more complicated. As paradoxical as it may seem, to attract the dismissive-avoidant ex back, you need to set a list of clear boundaries and expectations and accept that there is a risk of losing them by doing so. The most common reasons why an avoidant ex wants to be friends is because they want the comfort of your presence, they don't want to face the consequences of ending your relationship, they want to keep you as an option, they feel guilt and remorse or they want to use you for the benefits. This especially true if your emotions being needy, clingy, arguments, conflict, drama, jealousy etc., were the reason for the break-up. Dont wait for her. You may also interpret independent actions by your significant other as an affirmation of your fears. Your email address will not be published. Youd think that an avoidant wouldnt get angry when you ignore them. Next, identify and work on YOUR attachment style. In I Can Mend Your Broken Heart, world-famous hypnotist Paul McKenna, Ph.D. joined by psychotherapist Dr. Hugh Willbourn teach readers how to cope with mourning the of a loss of a relationship. They feel that if you can abandon them and treat them like they dont matter; maybe they really dont matter. Lets all learn from each other. Every one gets angry sometimes; and every attachment style gets angry. This book is a must-read for anyone struggling with the thoughts and feelings that accompany a breakup. Shell hurt for sure, but shell also hurt much more later when she finds out you led her on. He or she is hoping that if they feel a strong enough desire to reconcile if things arent working out with other people or in their single life, youll be on the back burner just waiting for the signal from him or her. Im the same way. Get your copy of Attached by CLICKING HERE. It breaks you, makes you feel insecure. She likes me but doesnt want a relationship, Do Fearful Avoidants Want You To Chase? This is hard to accept, I see the potential, I know the way it once was between us, I know how much we have in common; we are well suited. The book works to help the reader heal unresolved pain and safely allow love back into their lives. An Intense Fear Of Being Abandoned Avoidance of long-term relationships because of an intense fear of abandonment is one of the main signs of insecurity in love and it's a primary indicator of dismissive avoidant attachment. Ouch! I had the same experience with my avoidant! The anxious/avoidant trap is real. To find out moreabout NTRWandourrecommended tools, you can do thathere. My avoidant did the same thing and it didn't go to plan. These partnerships help fund this site. Itll also help with your depression not to have to pretend to feel what you dont feel. This article was originally published on https://www.nevertherightword.com.